


Fear Of The Water

by goldenvp



Category: IT - Stephen King
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-19
Updated: 2019-09-19
Packaged: 2020-10-21 17:54:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20697617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goldenvp/pseuds/goldenvp
Summary: Richie is scared, sad and doesn't really believe in destiny.Inspired by SYML - Fear of the Water





	Fear Of The Water

Richie wasn’t really the one to believe in destiny. Especially considering some of his experiences. But have Richie ever gotten mad at his destiny? The short answer is yes. The long answer is he was a hell lot mad at his destiny and, if destiny was a person, he’d kick the shit out of it. 

Falling in love for the first time felt like something that he’s heard of: butterflies in your stomach, complete inability to stop thinking about the person, getting too excited when you see them and all that. But at the same time it wasn’t the way he imagined it: it was really painful and his chest ached every time he thought about it too much.

When you’re 12 you don’t really see the world the way it really is. But Richie kind of did. He knew that people wouldn’t appreciate his love for this person, he was aware of what he felt and he was sure that he could handle it. But when you turn 16 things start to clear up a bit and you learn to get over stuff, you learn that your first love doesn’t have to be the love of your life (even if it is) and that the first love isn’t the last (even if it is). When you get older you forget a lot of things, but it is true what they say: at the end of the day your brain only remembers the best things, your happiest moments. That’s why it was a little weird for Richie when he realised that moments that he spent with Eddie are now his most vivid childhood memories. 

He didn’t really remember what he looked like, what he sounded like, but he did remember the way he felt around him, the way he was so happy and overwhelmed every time he saw him smile or laugh, the way he was excited when they were about to meet, the way he thought about him pretty much all the time. But when after 27 years he sees him, sees him again, in flesh and not in his dreams, it all comes back with a new kind of force. He decides to get drunk because that’s what always works and definitely doesn’t make things even worse, right? 

That night was really a mess of blurry memories, he doesn’t remember what was happening, but he remembers the way it was so painful to get back in that place, to see this metaphorical box open even though he was trying to keep it closed all this time. 

when things like these get handed to you for the second time in your life, it’s a million times harder to lose them. That’s why he didn’t believe in destiny. If these feelings survived so much aren’t they supposed to survive a little bit more, until they finally reach happy ending? if it weren’t ment to be then why did life make them meet? Again and again? If they weren’t ment for each other, why did he come into his life? 

It is too painful for Richie to think about the great «what if». Painful to think of what he would do to bring him back, painful to imagine what would happen. Too painful to realise that him walking in his life again would be the only thing he’d ever wish for. Later he realises that his pain transformed into fear. Fear of these thoughts, feelings, memories. Fear of the whole thing. The metaphorical box has to be locked again and Richie hopes, dreams that one day he’d manage to close it for good

**Author's Note:**

> Not me writing for the first time in 3 years because I heard a sad song that reminded me of Reddie
> 
> I wrote it in about 10 minutes and its really bad so I'm sorry!!!!
> 
> if you have something to say, please do in the comments


End file.
